Fresh and Awkward

Weird title, right?! But it’s because this is my first time bloging and I’m actually kinda lost. And now I’m just typing what comes up in my mind.

OK, let’s do it right. So, first of all I decided to create this blog like a project of a project, let me explain it to you guys. I’m in my last year in college  and some questions are poping up not only in my mind but also on my family&friends, like what’s next, what am I going to do after, what kind of field do I want to work with annnnd I don’t know. Like, I have no clue. It is something like I know what I don’t want but not what I want, do you know this feeling? So I thought that if I write this somewhere, somehow I could just find myself; (as you guys can see it in a desperate way).

What I actually know it’s that I don’t want to have my own business, I don’t have this thing that “Wow I need to have my own brand!!” and it’s not like I don’t like to create, actually I enjoy it! I love the process of searching for something and getting inspired with it and you just break your mind and everything you know into something new and different. I’m not the most creative person but I like creative things very much, messed up right?!

In the middle of this thinking process of what I want I also questioned myself about styling. You know, creating the look and the background of the photoshoots, but I don’t know if I have the capacity of doing something pretty good. These days we see so much incredible stuff and photographs that you’re like “wow, that’s amazing” and a fashion photoshoot has to be something that totally fascinates someone. So it’s like a big deal, and it freaks me out a little.

We have the personal styling option too but I would be a terrible person at it, because I’m the kind of person that believes if you want to wear something you should! I just hate the rules that people create, also that you have to wear something that it’s trending. No! You don’t! If you like it so yes, you should wear it and adapt it to your style. But it’s not like, you have to wear everything that it’s trending.

There is the coolhunter option, that I actually didn’t give a thought about it. And now I’m putting it in a list of things to do: search about coolhunting. Probably, ok, definitely I don’t need to write this, but I got excited writing as you can see the size of the post. I’m just talking with myself here, you guys noted right?!

Anyway, there is something that I love and probably would be awesome doing. Costume design, I’ve always been passionate about movies and just admiring the costumes. Would be amazing to work with a character and creating it, because you can tell so much about yourserlf with your clothes that’s amazing. Buuut, yes we have a but, I live in Brazil and we don’t have a good industry here, of course we have something, but you know, it’s different and definitely hard.

The truth is, I’ve always wanted to move abroad but I’m afraid. I’ve social anxiety problem, I don’t know what to tell to people, actually I’m a very quiet person and I’m comfortable with silence, and to be socially not awkward/strange we have to talk and it’s hard for me to start a conversation. And also I’m terribly shy like the type I get so red, but so red, that I wish I could just be invisible and disappear. It always happens in the worst ocasions possible, like in the middle of the class when your teacher asks you something and everyone is looking at you, you’re all blush and wishing you were dead. Or when you’re having fun in the mall and meet with someone you know and didn’t have idea the person was there. I really don’t know why it happens to me.

So, I guess I’ve just started a journey right?! Wait…


I had to post this, it’s not actually an adventure but it’s something! xx


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